The iPod gets so much adoring and worshipful press—we ink-stained (pixel-stained?) wretches are fawning over it 24/7—so we figured it was high time somebody took it down a notch or two. As my Gizmodo colleagues hide in the closet, they've shoved me out into the limelight to take the heat, offering my Top 10 Reasons Why I Hate You, iPod. So get your flamethrowers ready. Here goes:

There's no FM: we have some great FM stations around these parts, one jazz station in particular that I listen to all the time in the car. I can't do that with the iPod. How much more would it cost to put FM in that thing, maybe two bucks? Get over it, put the damn receiver and there and be done with it.

More haterage, after the jump.

Scratches: Yes, the new aluminum iPod nano is allegedly scratch-resistant, but it's retro, looking kinda like the old mini. We don't like going backwards. Our first-gen iPod nano looked like a skating rink on day two, and we were coddling it in microfiber most of the time. What, does it have a wax coating? What good is a beautiful design that gets all scratched up if you touch it? Meh.

Battery life: We still haven't forgotten about the first-generation iPod whose battery wore out quicker than a prematurely-ejaculating teen. Plus, it was nigh on impossible to replace there for a while. Now, the batteries still won't last long enough, even in the newest models. There are cheap Taiwan knockoffs that last twice as long. Fix that.

DRM: Digital rights management is shit, no matter how you slice it. Sure, Apple's DRM, called FairPlay, gives you a little more leeway, but we'd rather not have anyone telling us what we can do with music we've purchased. Makes us want to steal it.

iTunes is janky: iTunes is weird, and although we have no trouble using it, we're getting tired of teaching our grandparents all of its intricacies. We thought this was Apple, where everyone could use it and it would be easy. iTunes is not easy enough, and doesn't follow Windows conventions closely enough.

No Bluetooth: How hard can it be to put Bluetooth in the iPod? Then we could get rid of all those wires with their auto-tangle feature, seemingly wrapping around themselves while you're not looking, requiring an untangling session a few times a day. Bring on the Bluetooth.

Thief magnet: This is not really the iPod's fault, but the damn things are so popular, if you're wearing white earphones, you might as well have just painted a big target on your back. At least release some official black Apple iPod earbuds, or various colors...? Maybe that'll throw the muggers off for a little while.

My kid wants a new one every six months: Steve Jobs himself talked about how iPods must often be replaced. Sure, any consumer electronics device that's cutting edge will be obsolete quickly, but at least you can make them less appealing to my kid, whose nagging me for a new one on a regular basis.

No widescreen: You're making the mistake of the Microsoft Zune, sticking with that old-fashioned 4x3 aspect ratio. We want wide screen; that's the way of the future. While you're at it, give us better than 640x480 video on iTunes.

No WiFi: speaking of Zune, you could've put WiFi on the iPod a long time ago, and not crippled it seven ways to Sunday, too, as Microsoft is about to do. Another missed opportunity.

Oh well, happy birthday anyway, iPod. – Charlie White

Essentially, shoddy, fly-by-night VoIP resellers are racking up all sorts of complaints do to poor customer service and general jackassery. How this is any different than any other industry is hard to imagine, but it does clearly deserve its own feature and sense of righteous outrage. – John Biggs

Web Phone Woes [PCWorld]

``Customer satisfaction is our highest priority, and we continue to do everything we can to take care of our customers,'' said Molly O'Donnell, group manager of Xbox global public relations at Microsoft. ``This unique situation provided an opportunity to exercise that commitment. We are happy to know that Chris feels taken care of and remains a fan of Xbox and Xbox 360.''

His current console hasn't broken yet, but it's only a matter of time, we suppose.

The Unluckiest Of Xbox 360 Owners? Chris Szarek's Breakdown Nightmare Is Microsoft's PR Nightmare [Mercury News via TheInquirer]

Website Failed Success has an informative article about this budding sucka-fad, a good read:

If you thought bottled water is big, wait until this product hits full stride. If you said to yourself back in the eighties, "who would pay for water in a plastic bottle", you might not want to miss out twice. The market has proven that ideas such as this, built on a foundation of being pure, fresh, and clean; can be destined to succeed.

Canned Oxygen Could be the Next Bottled Water [Failed Success via boingboing]

Well it just happened to me. It's something called WhatsEveryoneLookingAt and we have a few ideas after the jump.

Viral Marketing Junk That You Should Not Click if You Don't Want to Tear Your Ears Off [Samsung]

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Well...the calculator says my Sony DCR-HC90 in mint condition with all the accessories is worth $300.

The DCR, new, still costs $719. Therefore, for someone to get an upgrade discount on a brand new Handycam, they are required to bend over while Sony reams them gently with a traffic cone. Thanks, fellas!

Trade In Page [Sony via CamcorderInfo]

Anyway, here's an entire website dedicated to hating DRM. We encourage you to blow this site up with your rants and haterage. And then purchase the next iPod Pepto with uber-ninja DRM++.

The marketing and PR companies want you to believe that they are combating piracy of their content. This is completely untrue. Every DRM scheme out there can be easily defeated by a person with the will, time, and money (aka pirates). So what is DRM really designed to do?

Well, someone had to say it!

Website [IHateDRM]

Say what you want, but Woz knows what's up over there. If only he had written an essay or something instead of riding around on a robotic scooter and hitting a ball and making off-hand comments?

What the other Steve is saying about Apple's striking resurgence [Globe And Mail via TheInquirer]

The ailing landline networks are feeling the cellular pinch and, in a very telling paragraph, we learn:

The regional Bell companies have made much of their billion-dollar plans to run broadband networks across the USA. Yet they're also quietly trying to erect hurdles that would make it hard or expensive for anyone to compete with them.

Besides municipalities like Lafayette, the Bells are going after their phone rivals, Internet carriers and major metro areas anyone with an interest in building services that might compete with the Bells.

Bells dig in to dominate high-speed Internet realm [USAToday via TheInquirer]