No one knows why we have been so suddenly thrust into a world knit from nightmare, but as your grandmother's dentures lodged bicuspid-deep in your Louisville Slugger testifies: the zombie apocalypse is upon us.
It's uncertain why Z-Day stuck on that fateful day in late March. Some blame the Venusian orbiter that reentered our atmosphere, metal and glass sopping with fell atomic resonance; Some point half-chewed knuckles at the chemicals and elements leached into our landfills after decades of poorly-disposed-of consumer electronics waste.
Others speak of a sorcerous lunatic cabal, enslaving the population with white stela in pocket-sized effigy, inscribed with the runic twin annuli emblematic of their music-woven moon cult. First those under their sway thought different; then they were different.
Whatever the reason, we are faced with the same problem humanity has always faced, honed to a razor's edge: survival. That's why Gizombo will continue to provide the latest updates on gadgetry that will keep you and your still-living loved ones alive—at least until the dozens of oozing commuters begin to clog the tracks on which our never-halting subway command center rides, sending us sparking to our final resting place inside a cold and bloody iron womb with only a single shotgun shell for comfort.












Comments
It's kind of disappointing that zombies aren't really roaming the land, craving brains and giving me targets to shoot at.
Awww, only Gizmodo and Lifehacker are doing the name changes.... not any of the other Gawker blogs. Unless the undead just haven't gotten to them yet...
Why can't Zombies and Humans just, get along? ...oh yeah, all the brain eating.
Anyone care to explain the whyness of this decision?
OMG totally fell for it. God the zombies wouldn't have much to snack on with me.
Wait, isnt it valentines day or something? Coulda Fooled me.
In NYC, we've been worrying about C.H.U.D. for years so this whole zombie thing is old hat...
oh god its so funny! its just SO funny! i cant stop laughing! the whole non stop zombie thing in every single piece isnt annoying as hell at all!! wait a second, i apologise, i was raised not to lie. lol all serinouness and sarcasm aside, whats up with the zombies? this would've been great for holloween...but today, i dunno today if i was working at gizmodo...sorry..."gizmobo" i would've posted a bunch of really cool/wanted things, and then at the end post a big APRIL FOOLS sign. then on sunday post all the real stuff
Dirk....just watched CHUD again this morning! I'm addicted to CHUD like Zombies to brains.
kotaku is in on it too. The only one I'm glad isn't in on it is Fleshbot. (Ewww Necrophilia)
Ya know, I bought a shotgun and semi auto assult rifle just for this occasion...ZOMBIES! Nothing is going to be more fun that blowing off the head of some undead fool as he trys to go for my brains. Anyone wanna join me?
I wonder if Chuthulu has something to do with this alleged recent zombie rising. I'm not worried about the zombies, its the Vampires that are the true danger.
No, no... forget about zombies, or even vampires. What we really should be worried about is ROBOTS!!!
THERE IS NO MENTION ON GIZMODO THAT THE GAWKER LOG IN SYSTEM WAS PARTIALLY DOWN AND THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE LOST THERE ACOUNTS OR IN MY CASE HAVE HAD LOG IN PROBLEMS...(END OF rant ) Dirk is right the robots are the real problem and will continue to be .
all these zombie posts are amussing, today(april 2nd) theres a Zombie walk organised in Brisbane, Australia. With a large horde of people getting all dressed up ready to give the masses a fright
What about zombie robots? You know, former robots whose respective hard drives and OS's have crashed and then come back from the dead...that's what I'm most worried about.
Zombies is the best you could come up with for April 1st? *claps slowly* you need to get out more, guys.
zombie aliens? WHERE? better than GIZMOFO.COM ;)
I love the blood. Seriously.
Nick, you think this is an April Fool's Day joke? No, no -- this is hard-core news. You'd better hope that you've bought the RFID-enabled shotgun shells . . ..
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