Cellphones, beauty, cancer, clarins, laptops, radiation, smartphones, spray, wireless

Magic Volcanic Face Spray Blocks Cell Phone Radiation

~~Crazy~~ French skin care company, Clarins Paris, will release a Spray in January that will protect us all from the electromagnetic radiation that is emitted by cell phones and laptops.

The spray is made up of microorganisms found on plants near undersea volcanoes. The logic seems to be that the microorganisms that are found on the plants have developed ways to protect the plants from the harmful radiation put out by the undersea volcanoes. Therefore if we coat ourselves with the same junk we will benefit in the same way. No word on price, but please don't buy this.– Ben Longo

Facial spray to protect skin from cell phone radiation [Textually.org]

7:38 PM on Mon Nov 27 2006
By Ben Longo
1,337 views
14 comments

Comments

freebs at 08:05 PM on 11/27/06
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Looks like their first customer will be the British author who was prodded 1000 times by her wi-fi. Ah the mysterious machinations of the Universe. Sometimes it just delivers a problem and a solution to the same website!
Daniel K at 08:20 PM on 11/27/06
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Sounds great! Where can I get some?
beyondmp3 at 08:45 PM on 11/27/06
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I'll bet the micro-organisms that thrive off of sulphuric acid and other volcanic gases smell fantastic.
Ghost_of_Awesomist at 08:52 PM on 11/27/06
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Wow! That is SUCH a great ripoff!
Mag at 09:40 PM on 11/27/06
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Now we know what to get "Prodded by 1000 fingers" Kate Figes for christmas.
Repton at 09:45 PM on 11/27/06
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I remember when we used to play Shadowrun. In Shadowrun, mages could project themselves into the astral plane and go wandering around invisible and incorporeal.

But the rule was: even in the astral plane, you can't walk through something that's alive.

So, our shadowrunners would load up on something very much like this: "moss spray", we call it. Moss-in-a-can. Whenever we wanted to be sure of privacy from magical interests, we would go to some room, and spray this moss on the walls. Instant astral spy barrier!
Bob_Shinoski at 09:49 PM on 11/27/06
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Ummm, I always thought people DIDN'T want little micro-organisms growing on their skin. If they can survive vulcanic vents, how long are they going to be chilling with you? Durrrrrr . . .
DirkusMaximus at 10:22 PM on 11/27/06
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I cast magic missile... at the cellphone radiation!
Radish at 10:47 PM on 11/27/06
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So now les Français are retreating from radiation too? What's next for those wimps, sunscreen, sunglasses, and hats?

Now excuse me while I pick at this dark, irregularly-shaped mole.
bmg50barrett at 11:07 PM on 11/27/06
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Eww...like i would want millions of undersea germs running around on my face. Let me deal wiht my acne first, then let me put more bacteriums on it...
Jezebeau at 05:39 AM on 11/28/06
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As far as I could find, the only radioactive volcano is one that Russia's been dumping nuclear waste into.
CrunchyMush at 05:50 AM on 11/28/06
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I'm sorry but this won't catch on. Try offering to spray millions of micro-organisms all over a random girls face and see what she says. Pro-Tip: The don't like it.
umrain at 09:45 AM on 11/28/06
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And coming in February: a face cream to shield your skin from any carcinogens that may be found in Anti-Radiation Face Spray.
Trance-Addict at 01:33 PM on 11/28/06
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When is Clarins Paris gonna release a spray to protect us from french under arm bush?